Block Voting and the Future of RRRR Political Machine Politics

DISPATCHES FROM THE FRONTLINES
(New York, NY) - January 7th

THIS ARTICLE IS THE FIRST IN A TWELVE-PART SERIES COVERING THE PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY RACE TO THE WHITEHOUSE

As the corn-husks and sawdust settle back the the ground in Iowa (John!), and the candidates with their entourages of supporters and handlers have moved forward to the Granite State, the nation is one step closer to knowing who will be chosen to represent the Democratic and Republican parties, and ultimately, who will hold the position of power in the White House for the next four years.

What remains shrouded in mystery, however, is the largest X-factor of this entire race. Reporters will scratch and stroke their botoxed foreheads in dismay and consternation for decades to come, wondering: "why didn't we pay more attention to the Reichman factor?"

You see, friends (and enemies), I hereby call upon all card-carrying members of the RRRR to band together. To unite, act, think, and ultimately vote, as ONE. When Rebbe sings with us the holy song "Yachad Yachad," he sings not simply of spiritual matters, but of political ones as well. Remaining faithful to the principles of the Revolution demands not only alliegance with our hearts, minds, wallets, guitars, bongo drums, and kidneys, but also, and some might say, most importantly, with our VOTES!!

The question is not: who should I as Danimal or Akiva ben Canaan, or Machine Gun Fodder vote for, but WHO WOULD REBBE LIKE TO WIN THE OVAL OFFICE? I ask you, brethren (and sistren, who now also have the vote), start entering the mindset of block-voting. Bring the power of the RRRR to the ballot box, and we shall truly taste victory be'yachad, for the good of Rebbe, the country, and the goals of Revolutionary progress.

More to come as we march onward to victory...