Asher Korcha BaDerech - A United Front in Battling Coldness

Rebbe, the RRRR and Naaleh. R Weinberger, the southern Chassid and the Sfas Emes Jew. Jawbonevalley and the Stollel . Reb Shlomo minyanim everywhere. The Village crazies and the March on Maryland.

What once was a scattered group of lonely Yechidim, groping for something warm in a world full of freezing Young Israel synagogues, is now a full scale, grass roots rebellion. We are powerful, far more powerful than we realize.

In the synagogues, schools and basement minyanim,
I saw Yidden who dreamed.
In the battlefields of passion and of fire
I saw the Snags get creamed.

Rise up from the weeds! Hiding is no longer necessary! Let us retake what is rightfully ours!

Gather Your Weapons...

The .40 caliber Aborigine blowgun comes fully loaded with one push through quiver, 4-black widow quivers, 3-dart guards, 1-stun dart quiver, 2-grips a mouth piece, muzzleguard, 16 wire darts, 10-spear head darts, 10-plastic broadhead darts, 8-stun darts, sling, instruction sheet and a paper target face. Features an aircraft aluminum barrel that carries a lifetime warranty.

And only $17!!!!!



Zakein Mamrei - King of All Media?

More great revolutionary moments from Akiva Ben Canaan's wedding. Zakein Mamrei's wife is responsible for the footage.


The Worlds Collide, Rockin.

Lost Footage of Rebbe and Chaim Dovid singing Michael Shapiro at Akiva Ben Canaan's wedding.

Take that all you playa hatahs.

Saying it like it is

At last year's RRRR Seudah, one of the Friends of the Revolution, Jake, had a little email conversation with one of his gentile friends. It went like this:

Jake: Today is purim...we drink today to celebrate the fact that when your people tried to wipe out my people we wooooooon! Let's go next week and see if if the forces of good can defeat the forces of evil.

Response from Gentile Friend: whats a little genocide amongst friends?!?!
Gentile Friend

Eight Living Sifrei Torah - the First Yahrtzeit

Waken in our hearts holy song
and remove the tears that do not belong
in the eyes of the children that long for You,
whose every life’s breath is a cry for Your love.


Rebbe Trivia Game (it's more then just a game)

Who was Rebbe calling a jerk when he called into Abc's purim seudah last purim?

Election Results

As some may have noticed, shady elections were held last week for Prime Minister (aka "the ceremonial figurehead") of the RRRR.

No candidate received a majority of votes, with Yogourt finishing just one vote ahead of Anarchy. Which leaves distant third place finisher Machinegunfodder as the kingmaker.

Which begs the question:

Will Machinegunfodder throw his vote to Yogourt, or cast his lot with complete and utter anarchy?

We await your decision, field commander.

Oded the Jew

Oded Ratinsky, a a very holy and relatively recent "Chozer B'Teshuva" and close talmid of the Kobriner Rebbe, has given up the "Yeridah Dream" (maybe the streets are not filled with cheese, after all...), to return to the Holy Land.

Only one thing stands in his way:

His Chrysler Minivan, which must be sold before he can make his way back to the Land.

In his words:

I am selling my Chrysler town @country limited, which mean stop of the line: Leather seats, everything power. 3.8 engine which is the best, 5 doors open electronic3 row for 8 people. Most of all it is in a very good condition, I am the second owner and both of us didn't work with the car, its almost new and very reliable. The retail price 8700, I am asking $8000, to make it move.

If interested, send Oded the Jew an email at oded_ratinsky@hotmail.com.


Rebbe on Mishpatim

Perhaps the most moving sichas Mussar I have heard in the YU beis medrash was rebbe on parshas mishpatim.(then again I think that may have been the only one I attended during my tenure at YU) Rebbe asked why is it that the the jewish slave only stays in servitute for six years and must go out in the seventh? Rebbe went on to explain that a thief is sold into slavery as part of his reformation process. He quoted the Shem Meshmuel who explains that the six years a jewish slave must work is in order to refine the six sides of himself that he has defiled, but the seventh side the pintele yid is always alive and kicking and is not suseptible to tumah. Rebbe explained that sometimes you can't reach that seventh side with a rational argument and we must employ music, and other means to grab onto that trapped inner jew, but certainly not dispose of, or have disdain for the holiest of jews. I heard from rebbe's current baal menagein the following story about a guest shiur Reb Shlomo gave to a group of smicha students at YU as well.Reb Shlomo asked the smicha students what the halacha is if a milchige lefel falls into a fleishege tefel. So they said kasher it. So Reb shlomo asked why? why don't we just throw it out? and the smicha students said back why should we throw it out if we can fix it, we can kasher it. so Reb Shlomo asked then why when a yiddishe lefel falls into a goyishe tefel do you throw him out? you can fix him too!!!!

The Yid from Dixie has some very helpful words for those of us facing uncertainty at work.
May we be blessed with Parnosah and a healthy perspective!


The Rebbe Belt Buckle...Go Up To The Mountain!

A few years ago, at a Shabbos gathering of the R4, one of the soilders showed off his new prize. It was acquired after searching through the muck and sludge of Audoban, Simcha Nick, and Wadsworth. Our friend from "south of Minnisota" had finnaly found the Belt of Rebbe. Lost for thousands of years, the power and potential of the Belt in the hands of the RRRR had only been a dream (see here...except without the whole evil, destruction, and corruption part, and here).

After hearing about this prize, I went on my own quest for the belt. After much work and pain, I was succesful in finding another Belt. During my time as bouncer, I used it to make my "mark" on our enemies "foreheads" ( like Mr. Sa Da Tay). After my promotion, i've used the belt on my forign missions to the Rocky Mountains and Vermont to show my alligence to Rebbe and for protection. The only reason why im telling you all this is we are approacing the Big Day...and you will need a weapon, and a way to identify yourself. Put them toghether, hear the call of the Quest, and be matzliach.

Viva Le Resistance, Viva Le Rebbe!
P.S: Belt pictured above is NOT actual Rebbe belt.

Rebbe Ethics

While I certainly don't sympathize with the drive by media, I feel compelled to try and make some sense of the lunch time quarrel that has invaded my sanctuary. You see when I enter the land of Rebbe I expect to encounter Golems and Cossacks and evil galachim. I hope to meet lamed vav tailors, poor orphaned brides, and a zakain mamrei look alike (who I happen to have chilled with in Brooklyn). If I here about a Rabbi entering a church I want him to exit many hours later with a teary eyed bishop at his side. and so I am left to ponder whether our friend Akivah has gone too far this time. Where does the line get drawn? How are us simpletons supposed to coexist in a revolution that some have turned into an editorial column to be read during the rabbi's sermon? How long must we see our Rebbe maligned and see his Torah traded for poor journalism? I call upon every banana eating, geulah seeking, rubin davening, east gate of Jerusalem meeting (OK you get my drift) chasid, to drop kick (hope the show was good danimal) the pseudo intelligentsia back to the seforim sale, and return to the peshuto shel mikra, good old fashion hooliganism.....In the name of rebbe of course


The Pain of our Fellow Man

The terrible tragedy in Buffalo today has me thinking:

As one of the Chochmai Umos Ha'Olam explains below, man is wrapped up in his own little world - to the point where even the death of millions does not trouble him, while a small wound to his own body causes him great consternation. But why is this so?

When a human being is born, he is completely selfish. As a child, his feelings for others - his mommy, for instance - all relate to himself. He loves his mother because she is always there for him, cleaning him, feeding him, etc. As we get older, we hopefully learn to feel for others outside of ourselves. We do this by expanding our notion of self; the other people playing roles in our lives become, to one degree or another, a part of our personal world. If something tragic, God forbid, should happen to a loved one, man experiences it as a personal loss - he has lost a part of himself.

For most of us, this expansion of self includes people whom we personally know and have a relationship with. This is why we can respond to the death of thousands of people in other parts of the world with callousness. But some reach a higher level, and are able to feel personal pain over the loss of every Jew, and every human being. How, I'm not sure. But spending as much time as possible around Rebbe seems like a good way to learn.


Adam Smith
The Theory of Moral Sentiments, Part III, chap. 1, par. 46

Let us suppose that the great empire of China, with all its myriads of inhabitants, was suddenly swallowed up by an earthquake, and let us consider how a man of humanity in Europe, who had no sort of connection with that part of the world, would be affected upon receiving intelligence of this dreadful calamity. He would, I imagine, first of all, express very strongly his sorrow for the misfortune of that unhappy people, he would make many melancholy reflections upon the precariousness of human life, and the vanity of all the labors of man, which could thus be annihilated in a moment. He would too, perhaps, if he was a man of speculation, enter into many reasonings concerning the effects which this disaster might produce upon the commerce of Europe, and the trade and business of the world in general. And when all this fine philosophy was over, when all these humane sentiments had been once fairly expressed, he would pursue his business or his pleasure, take his repose or his diversion, with the same ease and tranquillity, as if no such accident had happened. The most frivolous disaster which could befall himself would occasion a more real disturbance. If he was to lose his little finger to-morrow, he would not sleep to-night; but, provided he never saw them, he will snore with the most profound security over the ruin of a hundred millions of his brethren.

Zakein Mamrei!?!

Who is the man on the right?


What; in the World?

What is happening in this picture? Where was it taken? When was it taken? What is he doing? Why is he doing it?

Speak up gentlemen.

Looking Forward to the Next 4 Years...

From the White House:

A senior Obama administration official who spoke anonymously was somewhat optimistic that Netanyahu, too, would eventually come around on the issue of a "Palestinian state." Even if Netanyahu wins, the official said, "he's grown over the years. Getting back to the talks with the Palestinians is really the only solution."

At moments like these, its worth remembering one of the great statements of modern Jewish history, given by Prime Minister Menachem Begin after the US government spoke of "punishing Israel" for destroying the Iraqi Nuclear reactor in 1981. A highlight:

Are we a vassal state of yours? Are we a banana republic? Are we youths of fourteen who, if they don't behave properly, are slapped across the fingers?

Good thing Netanyahu is finally 'growing up'.

Support Aliyah - Own the Maitlands!

Are you a strong supporter of Aliyah, but not yet ready to take the plunge yourself? Well, here is a perfect opportunity to help others make aliyah - buy my parents' house in Teaneck so they can move to Modi'in and eat lots of Pita im Chumus!
Please pass along the info to anyone who may be interested...



Kimu Mah She-kiblu Kvar

The holiest of days is only 30 days away.

Over Tu Bshvat dinner last night, the Danimal told over some words he had heard at a "conversion party". A certain very holy, brand new Jew was explaining the spiritual high that he experienced at the moment when he joined Am Yisrael. He explained that he felt a tremendous joy in accepting upon himself, in complete finality, the responsibilities of a Jew. He realized that there was no going back;', once a Jew, always a Jew. And it gave him the greatest happiness he had ever known.

As he was dying at the hands of Roman soldiers, Rebbe Akiva said the Shema with a smile. The Roman soldier, incredulous, asked how he could smile through such pain. Rebbe Akiva answered: "all my life, when I said the words, 'You shall love Hashem your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your means', I was saddened - for while I have loved Hashem with all my heart and means, I did not know if I could love Him with all my soul (by giving up my life). Now that I am giving my life, and the hour for reciting the Shema has come, and my resolution remains firm, should I not smile? (Talmud Yerushalmi, Brachot 9:5)

A Convert sacrifices his life as he has always known it; one who dies "Al kiddush Hashem" certainly does the same. Can most of us ever make such a statement of dedication, of complete acceptance? And can we ever know the joy that comes with it?

When the Piacetzner Rebbe was 40 years old, he wanted to take something on in his service of God. But he already learned Torah in every spare minute. He already davened with fire. What was there left to do, to take on? The Rebbe decided to take on the greatest, the most difficult task - to be a Jew.

On Purim, the Jewish people were kimu mah she-kiblu kvar. They had always been Jews. But on Purim, they took on the task of becoming Jews. Maybe this is the joy of Purim - the highest joy a Jew can ever know...


The Revolution Conquers the Beit Midrash

A day and a half before Akiva ben Canaan stormed the Beit Midrash, three recon rangers made their mark.

“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives”

- William James


Kaitzad Mirakdot?

Chinese Women of the Revolution.

Entering Churches, Making Assumptions

This week's Jewish Week included a troubling article wrtten by Ari Goldman, professor of Jouralism at Columbia.

Since I am generally bored at work, I confronted the author. Below is our email exchange:


Mr. Goldman,

I was greatly troubled by your article concerning Rabbi Haskel Lookstein's decision to enter a church to celebrate the inauguration of President Obama. You wrote: "What bothers me is how ready the Orthodox rabbinate, apparently frightened of its right wing constituency, was to criticize one of its own." Mr. Goldman, how do you know that the Orthodox rabbinate is frightened of its right wing consitutency? Is it not possible that the Rabbinical Council of America, upon the advice of its greatest halachic authorities, came to a different halachic conclusion than that of Rabbi Lookstein? Considering that the vast majority of halachic authorities agree with the RCA's halachic conlusion in this matter, your statement seems irresponsible.

I am not criticizing Rabbi Lookstein for his decision; rather, I am criticizing your assumptions about the RCA's motives. If you have a source of information to back up your claim as to the RCA's motives, why didn't you share it?
If you can find some time to respond, I would greatly appreciate it.

Akiva Ben Canaan


Thanks for your note. You write that the “vast majority of halachic authorities agree with the RCA’s halachic conclusions in this matter.” I say that they are afraid of their right wing. Aren’t we really saying the same thing?
Here is how I see it: The pulpit rabbis, the ones who deal with the real world, are best equipped to make these decisions. Instead, the roshei yeshiva, who do not have to deal with the real world, are calling the shots.
Ari Goldman

I'm not sure how we are saying the same thing. The matter is a very complex halachic issue (see http://hirhurim.blogspot.com/2009/02/entering-sanctuary-for-hatzalat-yisrael.html). Why do you accuse the RCA of being afraid of the right wing, simply because they arrived at a different halachic conclusion than you and Rabbi Lookstein did? You have not responded to my query - what proof do you have that the RCA has made a political decision instead of a halachic one?

Akiva Ben Canaan


Thank you for your clarification.
I never meant to suggest that the RCA made a political decision. I was not talking about their political right wing (i.e., McCain supporters) but their religious right wing. I now see how my words could have been taken the wrong way. I am sorry for that.

The RCA did make a halachic decision but to my mind it was one based solely on the rules and not on reality. Sometimes the real world necessitates flexibility. Rabbi Lookstein found a way within halacha to go. I don’t see why the RCA had to publicly rebuke him.
-- AG


Now I feel that I must clarify.

When you say that the RCA made its halachic decision to satisfy the religious right wing, that implies that the RCA made its decision for "political" purposes - so that the RCA will not be seen as a religiously left wing organzation in line with Conservative and Reform, etc. Even this statement is unfair. Addionally, you state that "The RCA did make a halachic decision but to my mind it was one based solely on the rules and not on reality". I think this insults the intelligence of the members of the RCA; they are clearly well aware of the realities of the situation (again, see Rabbi Auman's discussion with Rabbi Broyde at http://hirhurim.blogspot.com/2009/02/entering-sanctuary-for-hatzalat-yisrael.html).

Halachic Jews do countless things that the world perceives as out of touch with reality. There are times, such as this one, where we have debate as to whether or not it is proper to bend the law, for a particular circumstance. The Rabbis of the RCA, who are probably far more knowledgeable concerning the halachic issues involved here, came to a different conclusion than you did. Why does that makes them "out of touch with reality"?

Akiva Ben Canaan

They are certainly more knowledgeable than I am. But are they more knowledgeable than Rabbi Lookstein?

Ari L. Goldman


I can't comment on the extent of Rabbi Lookstein's knowledge, though I do not think he is perceived as one of the leading scholars of the generation.

My general point is this - you felt that it was important for an Orthodox Rabbi to honor the President by walking into a church. Therefore, without a clear understanding as to the halachic issues involved (which are quite complex), you decided that Rabbi Lookstein's halachic position was correct, as it justified your opinion. To further legitimize your opinion, you then publicly criticized the RCA as pandering "to the right wing", which has absolutely no factual basis.

With all due respect, I find your article to be irresponsible.

Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Akiva Ben Canaan

Mahna Mahna - part Deuce

Cause who doesn't need some help with Parnassah?

It is a widely held custom to recite Parshas Hamon (Prayer for Sustenance) on the Tuesday before the Torah reading of ParshasBeshalach, where the Torah discusses the mon (dew, i.e. sustenance)that the Jewish people received in the desert. This reminds us that now, too, we are entirely dependent upon G-d, and Rebbe, for our sustenance.


The Real Voice of the Revolution

While you jokers are sitting around singing Yachad, these boyz are getting all sorts of things done in Heaven. Oh, and learn how to dress. Peace out playa hatahs. Who is the Kat who won't cop out, when there's danger all about? Rebbe.